Witty News From The World Of Cigars

By: Garson Smart

First up, there's the situation of the gentleman who loved his premium cigar too much. Is such a thing imaginable? Well, if it results in mug shots being taken, the response is yes. We all like to conserve money on our premium cigars now and then--which is why it's particularly valuable to have a discount premium cigar store bookmarked to your "Favorites" list on your web browser. But when you're shoplifting boxes of premium cigars from your neighborhood gas station, you're not a cigar aficionado--you're just a shoplifter.

Journalists report that exactly this development unfolded recently in the vicinity of Palm Beach, Florida, where a guy dressed in a black ski mask (just like in the movies) robbed a local Citgo at gunpoint. He made off with all the cash in the register--and a cigar box. Nothing more . No candies, condoms or air fresheners; no auto parts, magazines, or food. This man must have known exactly what he wanted. Points to him for the extent and degree of his cigar appreciation, but not for his way of showing it.

Sorry to say, the name of the cigar brand that he decided to steal has not been released to the general public. Hope they can get back the loss--and that the unfortunate employee who was robbed has recovered from the ordeal.

A like incident was recently reported in Rosenberg, Texas. This instance involved a seventeen-year-old man burgling eighty dollars' worth of cigars from a local Shamrock station. Hopefully this young guy's parents can straighten him out--and at least this burglary didn't comprise holding anybody at gunpoint. The same goes for a Howell, New Jersey event in which four men--ages 21, 34, 35, and 36-- skipped the gas station entirely and went straight for a cigar shop. (Increased age, apparently, does not bring intelligence.) Reports are uncertain pertaining to whether a fourth similar robbery--this one happening in Youngstown, Ohio, the birthplace of poets Kenneth Patchen and Hart Crane--involved the danger of assault with a deadly weapon; in this situation, a pair of guys with their hands in their pockets (as if carrying guns) robbed a neighborhood Speedway, taking fifty-five cigars of a brand that I won't identify, except to say that it wasn't exactly a premium brand.

If only all these folks had been aware that a lot of premium cigars are also offered at a discount on the Internet. Buying premium discount cigars online is a much better deal than having to come up with fifty thousand dollars in bail each--which is the bail set by Howell, New Jersey, police for the four men involved in the cigar store robbery, who were apprehended and charged before the break-in could become a reality.

In other comical cigar-related reports, economic crises often generate a certain entrepreneurial creativity--the inventor of Monopoly came up with the game to pass time during a Depression-era lay-off, for example--and these days, that similar resourcefulness is combining with widespread anti-smoking sentiment to produce ... the electronic cigar. An American business is producing a tobacco-free, no-secondhand- smoke-producing thing that (they profess) permits smokers to enjoy the pleasures of smoking without really ... smoking. The projection for this one don't appear especially good , but the comical mental image it creates may be worth something.

Though he, too, had an entrepreneurial streak (he created many inventions, most of which failed financially, including a breakdown-prone typesetting machine that was supplanted by the Linotype), the great Mark Twain is one premium cigar aficionado whom one can't picture touching such a device with a ten-foot pole. Some of Twain's personal and unpublishable writing--the kind that he literally kept in a box, knowing it would trash his reputation--has just seen print, finally, as the hundredth anniversary of the father of American literature's death approaches. Amid these pieces is a long "discussion" between Twain and Satan that features many of the former's thoughts on cigars. For premium cigar aficionados, it is must reading. The book is called Who Is Mark Twain?

Article Source: https://www.collectibles-articles.com

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